once i wrote “home is where i can look and feel ugly and enjoy it." but i’m out off that box now and i’m throwing myself in "home is where i have a french sized mattress and a view on the stars directly from my pillow (through the roof window).”
and than i’m looking at the stars and thinking off the people who are looking at the same stars right now and of the people i watched stars with and of the last and first minutes of the night when you can see them and all that and is just beautiful.
i have so many things up in my big head lately. it’s like making a crazy mix of things not to be mixed together. it’s like feeling swell in the evening drinking ALL the possible different drinks and next morning you’re like “that was NOT a good idea.” i am for example asking myself how do you say something like “ladyfriend” for a man, i mean boyfriend started to sound so generic. and than i am asking myself how the hell do english speaking people even feel. their language is so often so overused and i’m angry cause i didn’t ask any of the english speaking people i met that yet. and than i think of all the people going out today and than i realize i don’t want to see any of them. well almost. and than i ask myself why. why always this stupid affection for things that are destined to fail and keeping hope for them when they are actually failing. why on earth am i doing that to myself. and now there’s Summertime from Ella on my shuffle and i’m getting goosebumps from the saxophone and her smokey voice. and i’m remembering this very morning that i was walking the SUNsoaked streets and feeling stupidly happy when the same song came up on shuffle. and than i remeber how it felt when i was listening to this song when in a small town in finland laying on a sofa in school at 3 a.m. and was asking myself how will this exact moment feel when i come home. and than i think about that. hell yes and i haven’t even started to talk about what i wanted to get out of myself in the first place, so do you know what i’m talking about when i say i’m thinking too much about things. oh, i’m gonna just let it be there inside of me. mmm already enjoying it.
Let’s go, have that wreckless love. That crazy love. That off-the-wall-won’t-stop-‘til-I-get-enough kind of love. I need that love. So baby, let’s go, have that wreckless love. That crazy love. That I-don’t-really-care-we-can-have-it-anywhere kind of love. That wreckless love.